I did something hard.
I went back through all my old photos, and honestly? It broke my heart. Looking at those pictures, seeing the pain in my eyes, the disconnection from who I really was... it hurt.
But you know what else I felt? Really proud. Because that lost girl? No matter how far from her truth she wandered... she got us right here. And that's pretty incredible.
Today, I want to share something I never thought I'd tell anyone. A story that lived in my shame for so long, but that ultimately led me to the light.
You see, I've learned that our darkest moments often become our greatest teachers.That sometimes the stories we hide the most are the ones that can help light the way for others.
Because maybe you're there right now – living what looks like a perfect life on the outside while feeling completely lost on the inside. Going through the motions, crushing it at work, being that social butterfly everyone loves... while hiding a part of yourself that nobody sees.
I know this dance intimately. Because this was my story.
On the surface? I had it all together. Daily workouts, healthy eating, great social circle, and I was even a health coach! ... all the ingredients for a "happy life."
But underneath? I was falling apart.
It took an Arizona girl's weekend to show me just how far I'd fallen.
I was there for what should have been an incredible experience – a fitness event with Jillian Michaels and the Tone It Up girls... but there I was doing the exact thing I told myself I wasn't going to do...
After a night of partying and barely any sleep, I woke up knowing there was only one way I could make it through the day.
Standing in line to meet Jillian, terrified she would smell alcohol on my breath, barely able to participate... I felt so ashamed. So disgusted with myself.
On the plane ride looking at my reflection in the window, I asked myself:
"Is this really who you want to be? Is this really how you want to show up in the world... hungover and smelling like yesterday's bad choices?"
The thought of changing felt terrifying. How would I connect? Would people still like me? Would I still be... fun?
It wasn't just about giving up alcohol….it was turning the page on my entire life.
Who would I be without a drink in my hand?... Something my soul was begging to find out..
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Watch Episode 2: I Used Alcohol to Cope...Until THIS Changed Everything
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